Parent-Child Relationships

Improving & maintaining Parent-Child Relationship

There are different types of relationships which include family relationships, friendships, romantic relationships, and relationships with oneself. As quoted by Henry Ward Beecher: “There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.” It is crucial to have a healthy and strong family relationship, particularly the relationship between the parent and child.

Why is the parent-child relationship important?

A healthy parent-child relationship promotes a child's cognitive, emotional, and social development and it helps to build children’s prosocial behaviour where they are more likely to be helpful and kind.

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Are you looking for tips to improve and/or maintain your relationship with your parents or with your child 🤔? Fret not, we would love to share some useful tips to help you out, for both children and parents🤩 because building a relationship requires both parties, not one!

As a parent👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 you may do the following:

1️⃣Be an ear to your children 👂🏼

Applying active listening when your child comes to you with their problems or concerns. Simply being there, when they need you will make them feel appreciated and supported. Remember, while engaging in conversation, focus on what your child is saying instead of rushing to give any advice, jumping to conclusions, or making any assumptions. Allow them to speak fully while you also give your full attention when listening to their words. You may make use of your senses such as making eye contact with them, nodding your head, showing that you are listening actively, and look out for their body language as well (e.g. gesture) to help you identify their problems.

2️⃣Be part of their life 👥

When your child takes part in any game, competition, or having an exam in school, be excited and supportive! Try to make time for them by attending the events to show that you have an interest in knowing their life and being part of their life. What if you are really busy and you are unable to make time? No worries, alternatively you can give encouraging words such as “All the best!” “You got this!” “Good luck!” to them as a form of care and support as well! Trust me, that would mean a lot or a whole world to them.

3️⃣Show your love and appreciation to your child 💕!

Practice giving your child a hug before going to school, giving them a kiss 😚 before going to bed would help to build and strengthen emotional bonds! Also, be generous with your encouraging words! Celebrate your child’s achievements, even small ones! A simple “Good job!” can make them feel loved & empowered. For example, when they completed a simple task such as keeping their study table tidy, tell them nice words. Let them know you appreciate their small actions.

4️⃣Make them your priority ❗

You and your child are biologically connected as well as emotionally. Spending quality time together will definitely build a stronger rapport. So, look out for some activities to do together with your child. It can be playing sports, gardening, reading, and more. These activities will increase your contact with your child and create unforgettable memories for the both of you! While engaging in an activity with your child, remember to give your full attention. It can be as simple as keeping your phone on silent to avoid any distractions!

As a child 🧒🏻you may do the following:

1️⃣Be open and tell them your problems 💬

Sometimes as a child, we may think that parents do not understand us well. However, they do! They probably have gone through the same problems that you might be going through right now when they are at your age. Before assuming that they would not understand your problems, try to keep an open mind, learn to trust your parents, and be honest with them. Reach out to them by voicing out your inner feelings on things you are going through. I am sure they can understand and will try to understand you!

2️⃣Express your love to them 💌!

It is a fact that not everyone is lucky to have both parents in their life 😞. Some children may come from single-parent families, some may be orphans. So, if you have both parents with you, remember to be grateful! To show them your gratefulness and blissfulness, a hug, a kiss 😘 will do! However, if you are a shy person you can go with celebrating their birthday 🎂 as well as an act to show your appreciation to them!

3️⃣Be considerate 💐

It is very common that parents nowadays are working, both mum and dad. When both of your parents are busy with their work, you can learn to solve the problems yourself before seeking help from them. This will not only improve your problem-solving skills but also give you a sense of accomplishment 📈! Undeniably, working parents are often fatigued and stressed from work. As a child, you can learn to be proactive by becoming a helping hand to your parents such as doing simple house chores to lessen their burden!

4️⃣Roll up your sleeves as a child 💦!

As a child, your responsibility can be as simple as finishing homework ✍🏼, packing your own bag 🎒, and preparing yourself for tomorrow’s class. When you learn to fulfill your responsibilities as a child, you are becoming a responsible person and independent child that doesn't require much attention or help from your parents especially when they are busy. Other than that, as a child, it is important to be respectful to other people such as your family members, siblings, teachers, friends, and the elderly.

TWO most IMPORTANT ❗❗ techniques in maintaining the parent-child relationship

There are two most important take-home messages in order to build a strong and healthy parent-child relationship:

❇️Be Understanding❇️

As we all know, relationships work both ways, not one way. It requires effort from both parties to work things out. Therefore, both parent and child should learn to put themselves into each other’s shoes. When we start to think from other people’s perspectives, we learn to see things differently and explore new points of view. It can also help to reduce misunderstanding. For example, when your parents nag at you does not mean that they like to nag instead it could mean that they are concerned and cared about you! Whereas, when your child talks back do not mean that they have a bad attitude, it could mean that they have their own thoughts and perspective and that they want your understanding and agreement.

❇️Communication is the key❇️

Other than that, both parties should learn to compromise by using give-and-take techniques. Both parties should learn about their own and each others’ boundaries. For instance, as parents, you can give room for your child’s privacy. When they have problems, do not simply share them with others. Respect them as a person by not going over the boundaries. When there is a problem, sit down, take the time to discuss, and figure out a workable solution for both of you. During any discussion or conversation, both parent and child should be honest and non-judgmental. By practicing open communication between parent and child, it will create a harmonious and loving parent-child relationship.

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All in all, we hope you find the tips helpful. We also hope that the tips are able to help strengthen your relationship with parents (if you are a child) and with children (if you are parents)! Feel free to share your ways of showing love to your child/parent that we might have missed out 😉!